That Crazy Mulan!

NIPPERS

While watching Mulan tonight Leif starts squirming in his chair and covering his eyes and showing signs of general distress.  Mulan (dressed as a man) is in battle.  "Fast forward this part!  Fast forward this part!"

A:  What's wrong?

L:  They're going to find out she's a girl and that guy will get mad at her.

A:  How are they going to know?

L:  She's going to get hurt, then go to the hostable tent and show them her nippers.  

A:  She's going to show them her nippers?  

L:  I mean 'nipples' and boys don't have nipples.

A:  You do.

L:  Yes, but mine are small.

A:  Daddy does too.

L:  Yes, but they're furry.

SECRET AGENTS

We are secret agents now, at our house.  We have ID cards and secret identities and disguises (complete with fake passport and IDs).  This goes well with the hot new craze called FlashLight Walk.  Going for a Flashlight Walk is fun.  You put on PJs, grab some flashlights and go explore Granville Island in the dark.  The kids get to be the only kids on the boat.  They like to flash their flashlights up close on tree trunks and in bushes looking for little animals.  Last time we went there was a tall grey crane standing very close to us in the duck pond.  The good thing is it still gets dark relatively early, so you can still be in bed on time but it feels very late.

BROTHERLY LOVE

Leif loves his little sisters, but there is a limit to what he's willing to do.  The other day as I was nursing Tineke on the couch Laika started calling me.  This whole conversation was yelled gently.

LJ:  Mommmmaaaay

A:  What do you need?

LJ:  I'm in the bathroom, and I need help.

A:  Laika, I'm nursing the baby, you can wipe your own bum.

LJ:  OH MAN!  

                               

                                   (Silence)

LJ:  Leeeeeiff.

LO: Laika, I'm not interested.

LJ:  Leeeeiff I need you in here.

LO:  No Laika, I am definitely, definitely not interested.

goodnight

Chinese After Supper

As we walked to London Drugs tonight to buy me a Krups Universal Grill (which I love) . . .

Leif said,  "I have to show you a really cool After Supper treat."   

I said, "Oh, you brought a treat for us to open after supper?"  

"No.  An After Supper thing."

"OK, so something to show after supper?"

"No.  Like Chinese After Supper."

"You mean Chinese New Year!?"

"Yes!"

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Let's Have A Joint

The Scene: early Sunday morning, in our bed, Tineke in the middle, Laika on me and Leif climbing in . . . 

LO: Not Good Morning.  

LO: I said, "Not Good Morning."

ERT: Why not?

LO: I didn't even sleep last night.  I had too much cough.

AJN: That's too bad.  Climb in.

(Leif climbs in between us)

LO: Let's have a joint.  I have a joint.

AJN: What!?

LO: I am the joint and Tineke is the gear and Laika is a gear too.

AJN and ERT:  Oh.

The Scene:  Laika on the couch cuddling with Erik, but now he's talking to me and she's getting bored, and is trying to extricate herself from behind his legs.  He's not making it easy for her.

LJ: Oh man.  I gotta get out of this situation. 

(the best part is, she says it sort of under her breath - to herself)

The Scene: Sitting at the kitchen table eating Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.

LO: Mom.  What's your favourite thing in the world?

Me: You.  You and your sisters and dad.

LO: No, not your favourite people.  Your favourite thing.

Me: Snorkelling.

LO: No.  I mean.  What is your favourite thing!?  

Me: Umm.  Hmmmm . . .

LO: Come on! A rocket or a horse?

The Scene: Driving Laika and Tineke home from preschool.  Laika trying to talk to me from the backseat.

LJ: Mommy.  Did you bleepep auguuus a beee sooool?

Me:  Laika, I can't hear you.  Talk more loudly.

LJ:  Mommy.  Did you knoow that weee bleeeoooopp and a soooool and uuuuugg?

Me:  Laika, wait until we get home.  I really can't hear your question.

LJ:  MOMMY!  I SAID, "Did you know that Angela and Nargis don't actually sleep at Tiggy Winkle Preschool!"